Tuesday 8 October 2013

Eating Alone

When I was in first year uni, sitting in the cafeteria, one of my friends commented on a girl sitting near us who was eating by herself. She said something along the lines of, "Oh, that's so sad, I feel like I should go sit with her." I laughed and responded, "I eat lunch here by myself pretty much every day."

Is that what most people think about people in restaurants who are eating by themselves? I eat by myself all the time. There is nothing wrong with it. Answer this: Which is sadder, eating by yourself, or walking around hungry because you're too self-conscious to eat alone?

I don't see anything sad about eating alone, although now I'm constantly concerned that people are watching me and commenting to their friends that I must be so sad and lonely. And maybe I am a bit lonely, but at least I'm not lonely AND hungry, you know what I'm saying? I just don't have time to coordinate my schedule with another person's so that I can get sustenance without looking like I have no friends.

I do thank the technological gods that laptops exist, because when you're eating and using your laptop, it looks like you're doing some real important work and simply had to take a break to eat at some point. But I think a book does the same thing. I used to bring my textbooks to the cafeteria, and that's where I got most of my readings done. (Tip for fellow students.)

Yes, eating has become a social ritual, but it doesn't have to be. Humans plan events around food. Think about it. "Let's watch reruns of Dexter and order pizza." "Let's crack open some wine and feast on this brie." "I  can't wait to get a hot dog at the hockey game tonight." We associate food with everything and that's okay. Just last night I went to the movies and I was more excited for popcorn than I was for the movie. (While we're on that topic, I will say that I am definitely not comfortable enough with myself to go see a movie alone.) So, it makes sense that when we see someone eating all alone, we think that they must be sad about the whole situation. But we have to remember, humans eat because we have to, not because we want to sit around and catch up on all the hot gossip with our friends.

It's actually weird that we eat together. I don't know about everyone else but when I'm by myself I enjoy eating a lot more. This is probably because I can and will act like a disgusting pig and no one knows. I also throw the 10 second rule out the window when I'm eating by myself, but that's a different story.

I don't know if people think about this as much as I think they do, but clearly there are people out there who do. I think the only thing I can really say about it is that it's all about comfort. Some people are uncomfortable being alone. Some people can't go to the bathroom alone, some people can't go shopping alone, some people can't walk home in the dark alone. Is it a self-esteem issue? Or a don't-want-to-get-kidnapped thing? Or an I'm-the-center-of-the-world thing? People always think that everyone is paying attention to everything that they're doing, which is absolutely not the case. But we think it's happening because, hello, who is more interesting to watch than I am?

I guess to end this off, I just have to say that if you have to eat alone (or if you WANT to eat alone, which is a total possibility that a lot of people don't think about) you just have to own it. And stop worrying that people are watching your every move.